Wanna Be My Friend?
It has been three months since our BIG move to New York City and every once in awhile it hits me that this is real, that this is our new home. I know, I am a slow learner 😉 I have been extremely busy making sure that the children are adjusting to their new school, that they are meeting people and are involved in various activities. As a parent, it is my first priority to look out for my children. They were our number one concern when Ron and I started talking about the move in the first place. The thoughts that kept running through my head were “Would they fit in?”, “Would they find friends?”, “Would they adjust to city life?”- And they are doing fine. Better than fine. They love their new school, have had play dates and birthday parties. We are getting organized and settling in. I can stop worrying about them, well, as much as a mother ever really stops worrying…
Maybe it is time to worry about me. Or at least, think about me.
Did someone mention cupcakes??!!
I am feeling a bit nervous today because I am starting a running class tonight. I have two reasons that I am feeling anxious. One, I am worried that it is going to be a killer work out and that my ass will be handed to me. But that is the exact reason why I signed up in the first place, so I should just suck it up and stop thinking about it. The second reason I am nervous is that I am branching out and starting something new where I know no one. This may surprise some of you but sometimes I get a bit freaked out when I have to meet new people. The old insecurities from high school creep in and I just hope that someone there will “like me”. This is when it hit me- that like my daughters, I am the NEW KID.
I have been soo worried about the kid’s transitions that at some point along the way I kind of forgot that I was transitioning too. I have been very fortunate to meet some wonderful people in this city. I am also incredibly lucky to have already had some friends in New York. I did not have to move here, totally on my own with no one to reach out to. However, that being said, I am one of the “new” mommies on the playground and that can be extremely stressful. The other night I went to a social/fundraising event for the school. I arrived a bit early and walked into the lobby where a group of women who clearly all, already knew each other were standing. They turned and looked at me (gave me that up and down look) and then turned and continued on with their conversation. Not a great way to start the evening. I mean really, I have taught 13 years of high school and way back when actually attended myself, when will women stop being evil to one another? At this point I was tempted to leave but the mature woman in me reminded myself that I wouldn’t want to be friends with women like this anyway and waited patiently for other people to arrive. Sure enough, soon after, other women arrived and were friendly and reached out to make me feel welcome. In fact, I ended up having a great time.
Oh girls, why can't we all just get along?
It is tough being the new kid, it is not always sunshine and lollipops. I am not going to lie, while I am having fun meeting new people, it can be exhausting. There is something to be said about that friend that already knows you, that you don’t have to hope beyond hope will like you, because they have already seen you at your worst and still love you for it. Don’t get me wrong, I am still going to talk to everyone I can, even if inside, my stomach is doing little nervous flips, that is just who I am. And hey, unlike my high school self, I also realize that life is too short to try and make everyone like you. Some people aren’t really worth the effort anyway. This new kid is going to be a-okay. This afternoon I am heading out for my own play date at Starbucks… just the way I like it 😉
True Friends =)
It's Always An Adventure 
And your true friends love you no matter what city we’re located in! Keep smiling beautiful, anyone would be lucky to be able to call you “friend”. xoxoxoxo
Okay, you are not supposed to make me cry in the middle of the day- xoxo
I know exactly how you feel, I’ve moved around so much I dont know my current phone number most of the time, thank god for cell phones, they stay the same.
You’ll do great, if you’re even a smidgeon now like you were in Junior high, (good god 26 years ago) you’ll have a ton of friends in no time, and for those bitches that dont want to play nice, who needs em.
K.
Awww, thanks Katrina- I am avoiding the ones that don’t want to play nice- too old for that crap 😉
Oh Sandra I know exactly what you mean! Here I was all worried about the girls transitioning to everything….school, language, EVERYTHING and they were passing every test with flying colours while I, on the other hand, was the one having all the issues! I was so shocked when I realized how hard it was for me, but it made me really examine what was important to me in my life and where I wanted to put my time and energy.
September was one year for us and I have to say being the ‘new kid’ last year SUCKED the big one, I went through through the same of types things with moms, with the women at the gym, and just people in general in the local places etc, being so obviously a foreigner. Heck I still go through it! But this year I came back with a different attitude, and it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it did before. What I realized was that last year I wasn’t myself at all, the real me just wasn’t able to shine through because in those situations I allowed myself to go into hibernation mode. I’m glad you stayed and ended up having a great time! Don’t allow yourself to even think about hibernation mode! It’s not worth it, and like you said, there’s no time for that at this age! 🙂
I love love love reading about your NYC adventures, keep ’em comin’!
🙂 Cassi
Hey, Sandra
I stayed home this AM w/ a stupid cold or I’d be having coffee with you right now (boo hoo.) Thankfully we have some across the street neighbors with 3rd graders at our kids’ school so I could easily send Ethan in with one of them (yay, city bus-pool.) This did, however give me a chance to do some blog reading & I have been really enjoying catching up w/ your last few posts.
Every community has its snotty bitches (I’m NOT a new mom & they’re nasty to me too) and its welcoming, inclusive moms & I’m so glad we found each other. Hope you had a great run last night – and wasn’t Rachel your coach?
Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow, as I HAVE to move the car (aren’t you glad you don’t have to do the NYC alternate side street parking dance) – coffee?
I am getting you a t-shirt that I like to wear every so often that says, “Don’t you KNOW who I am??” As the New Yorker, you know how I would’ve responded, “Hey bitches, s’up?” But that’s why I never get invited to parties in your hood! ; )
Love ya girl…Glad you’re here and that you’re my friend.
The best part of being exhausted from meeting new people is that after, you totally feel like you’ve earned yourself some quality ‘me time’.
Miss you. Been there. I’m cheering for you!