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Posts Tagged ‘Intimidating’

 

Wanna Be My Friend?

 

It has been three months since our BIG move to New York City and every once in awhile it hits me that this is real, that this is our new home.  I know, I am a slow learner 😉  I have been extremely busy making sure that the children are adjusting to their new school, that they are meeting people and are involved in various activities.  As a parent, it is my first priority to look out for my children. They were our number one concern when Ron and I started talking about the move in the first place.  The thoughts that kept running through my head were “Would they fit in?”, “Would they find friends?”, “Would they adjust to city life?”- And they are doing fine.  Better than fine. They love their new school, have had play dates and birthday parties. We are getting organized and settling in.  I can stop worrying about them, well, as much as a mother ever really stops worrying…

Maybe it is time to worry about me.  Or at least, think about me.

 

Did someone mention cupcakes??!!

 

I am feeling a bit nervous today because I am starting a running class tonight.  I have two reasons that I am feeling anxious.  One, I am worried that it is going to be a killer work out and that my ass will be handed to me. But that is the exact reason why I signed up in the first place, so I should just suck it up and stop thinking about it.  The second reason I am nervous is that I am branching out and starting something new where I know no one. This may surprise some of you but sometimes I get a bit freaked out when I have to meet new people.  The old insecurities from high school creep in and I just hope that someone there will “like me”.  This is when it hit me- that like my daughters, I am the NEW KID.

I have been soo worried about the kid’s transitions that at some point along the way I kind of forgot that I was transitioning too.  I have been very fortunate to meet some wonderful people in this city. I am also incredibly lucky to have already had some friends in New York.  I did not have to move here, totally on my own with no one to reach out to.  However, that being said, I am one of the “new” mommies on the playground and that can be extremely stressful.  The other night I went to a social/fundraising event for the school.  I arrived a bit early and walked into the lobby where a group of women who clearly all, already knew each other were standing.  They turned and looked at me (gave me that up and down look) and then turned and continued on with their conversation.  Not a great way to start the evening.  I mean really, I have taught 13 years of high school and way back when actually attended myself, when will women stop being evil to one another?  At this point I was tempted to leave but the mature woman in me reminded myself that I wouldn’t want to be friends with women like this anyway and waited patiently for other people to arrive.  Sure enough, soon after, other women arrived and were friendly and reached out to make me feel welcome.  In fact, I ended up having a great time.

 

Oh girls, why can't we all just get along?

 

It is tough being the new kid, it is not always sunshine and lollipops.  I am not going to lie, while I am having fun meeting new people, it can be exhausting.  There is something to be said about that friend that already knows you, that you don’t have to hope beyond hope will like you, because they have already seen you at your worst and still love you for it.  Don’t get me wrong, I am still going to talk to everyone I can, even if inside, my stomach is doing little nervous flips, that is just who I am.  And hey, unlike my high school self, I also realize that life is too short to try and make everyone like you.  Some people aren’t really worth the effort anyway. This new kid is going to be a-okay.  This afternoon I am heading out for my own play date at Starbucks… just the way I like it 😉

 

True Friends =)

 

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