Okay, I am going to admit it. I have a love/hate relationship with running.
There used to be NO relationship between myself and running. We were as far apart as Sarah Palin and reality. I used to pass runners in my car at all times of day and think that they were totally insane to be out pounding the pavement. I only ran if I was scared.
And then a very strange thing happened a few years back. A couple of good friends in my neighbourhood and I, decided to join a learn-to-run program so that we could get into shape. I gained a respect for runners and slowly I became one myself. Now, it did not happen overnight. When I first started I could barely run for one minute without collapsing and gasping for air. I wanted to quit numerous times. In fact, I have quit numerous times. This is what I mean by love/hate relationship.
Since I started running I have trained religiously, three to four times a week and raced a few 5K’s and a couple of 10K’s. And then I stop. Usually it is because my life (or so I like to believe) has become too stressful and other things become a priority and I can’t fit in the runs. Really these are just lame excuses. The whole beauty of running is that you can do it anywhere and all you need is a pair of running shoes and space. But for some reason, I stop. And then I feel guilty.
Running makes me feel amazing. It relieves stress. I am able to think about the day and with each step that I take, a bit of the stress is pounded into the pavement. It is alone time. I love the solitude. Just me and my music, pushing myself to go a little longer or a little faster. And I love the health benefits, I always feel more energized. So… why does it sometimes seem soo hard to get my butt of the couch and go?!
I think it is because I train really hard and then I stop and it is really hard to get back into it again. Nothing deeper than that. I have to make it a priority.
Yesterday I went on my first run in about four months. It was raining and gloomy. My kind of running weather. I am one of those bizarre people who actually enjoys running in the rain, snow and cold. I detest running in the heat. I ran along the Hudson River. It was awesome. And again, I asked myself, why did I stop?
No more excuses, this time I am in for the long haul. Running really is about 90% mental, so I just have to stop playing games with myself, commit to the relationship and let go of the hate.
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